* m y * i n t r o d u c t i o n *

Ok so this is my first blogger account that will actually matter to me. This first however you want to call it, you are about to set your eyes on might scare you but don't let that be the cause of why you stop subscribing to me or reading these. First times are always a shocker. I am going to tell you my life story in a nutshell. as far as what I can remember, I am not completely sure at this moment, all I know is you will learn a lot about my life. At first this story might bore you because all I will be stating is the obvious facts of my life you probably knew already. I assure you this story will become more interesting. You will see I am not going to be just clearly stating facts of my life but the feelings I have been feeling throughout my whole existence. A lot of topics I talk about will most likely be explained further in the following day, week, or months blogs. Think of this blog, simply as a online novel making its way on the shelves. Through time I plan on editing this and getting it published and sold everywhere whenever I feel the story is complete.

On top of all this I also plan on either once a week or once a month, whatever is easier for me with my hectic life to post a poem of mine whether it be new or old and tell the story(reason) of why I wrote it. Some days you will see there will be two blogs written instead of one. Whenever the hell I feel like it you might see 3 blog stories written in one day. I love a lot of different types of music and a lot of the lyrics I read I feel apply to my life. So those days you will see the lyric posted, no matter how long it is and what it means to me below that. I hope you take the time to read all of my stories. I will tell you something right now. I DO NOT plan on fabricating, exaggerating, or lying about anything I write on this Blog site. Not just because I plan on writing a non-ficticious book based on my blog someday but also because I just don't believe in lying unless it is a life/death situation where my life depends on it.

I will tell you something that is also very important but very true. I have to get this out in the open because I believe that keeping things bottled up inside you can kill you and I don't want to die, so here it goes. I am probably one of the: craziest, most insecure, most depressed, most self-centered, and most negative person you will ever meet or talk to. But don't let this scare you. I am also one of the most: sweet, caring, generous, loving, touchy-feely, least selfish girls out there. You might be asking yourself why did I say I am the most self-centered and least selfish. Why would I contradict myself. Well to be completely honest. At times I feel everyone needs to be about themselves and of coarse there are moments where other people matter more. I am self-centered to a degree but I am always thinking about other people more than I think of myself.

You will most certainly start to understand me more through reading each blog I post. Another thing I wonder is why they call it a blog. all it is really is just an online journal for the open public to see or not see. i hate that people have the choice to make it private, if you want people to understand yourself better, make the blog open or just show them who you really are. In my case this is not the easiest thing to do. My insecurities cause me to hide in a sea of outgoing people who are way more showy of who they are compared to me. This is the reason why I am writing this. I may be shy in person but I am definitely not shy when writing. I will answer any question people have for me while I am on the computer. I always felt like I could get my feelings across better when i am writing. this is something people don't see. like my grandmother always says "different strokes, for different folks". some people can express themselves better in person while for others writing is the better way to go.

I am almost quite positive you have probably heard some of these things a million times. I am not here writing to make myself seem like a smart-ass or someone who thinks she knows better than anyone else. I am here writing to whoever wants to read it. I don't care if you know this stuff already. its my story. so stop complaining. I don't really care if my grammar is correct and all that jazz. all that matters to me is that I get my mind across to anyone who will take a chance and get to know me. And another thing. I am sure you will learn somethings you have never even known before just by reading what I have to say. So i hope you all enjoy this blog about the journey i am battling: LIFE.

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Written: march 19 2010
Posted: march 20 2010